Levko Ivanchuk

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When shit hits the fan...

This is not uncommon to say that various things in our bodies are interconnected. What is more common is to ignore this fact entirely. For instance, I might say that my right knee is all there by itself, doing its thing, making my life great again. Then, it snaps, and shit hits the fan ... as I stop moving as much as I did, I begin to suffer emotionally. Suddenly, I don't feel as happy, as concentrated, as determined as I used to anymore. Then, in time, this translates to apathy, anxiety, even anger. More still, your weakened knee weakens other joints and all of a sudden your neck starts to hurt - massively. So much that you can't turn your head around. This means you don't want to get out of bed and go to a wedding your girlfriend was looking forward to so much. So you two might start to argue, and since your mood is terrible when the shit hits the fan, it is nasty. Then you catch the flu because your body immune system is weakened. You spend 4 days in bed with high fever thinking about how miserable you are at the moment. Then you realize the chain - the interconnectivity of one problem leading to the next one and you see that chain of events and you realize how one bad decision influenced two months of your life. You begin to think - how many of these mishaps have I done in my life? What should I have done differently? 

Paranoia is not the answer - protecting yourself, avoiding danger and peril is not going to lead to a "better" life, whatever that is. Well, not for me for sure. Self-development, self-study, and self-improvement have been turned into such a cliche activities that whatever you do you are unlikely to beat others who are doing it - or, at least, claim to be doing it on Facebook. Hence, I keep it empty. I don't see the point of showing my "achievements" into people's faces. If my achievements are worthy, people will ask themselves. 

For example, I have tried to write these thoughts in Ukrainian. My thoughts, they exist is some sort of universal language, a nebulous cloud of thoughts that can pass through a filter and be turned either into a Ukrainian or English language (Japanese filter is still under construction). However, the capacity of that English language filter is still much, much bigger than that old, rusty Ukrainian one. So this text is as it is. It is in English precisely because I was lazy and didn't bother to mold my thoughts into Ukrainian and yes, English is a lot easier for me. Humans, including myself, tend to choose easier paths. However, when shit hits the fan, they realize their mistakes - but it is too late to correct because time is irreversible. It can freeze, speed up or slow down, but not go backward. 

It is pointless to ask others or read books about how to work and get your act together. Instead, you should just do it - and really want to do it, for that matter. Recently, I have failed that belief myself - massively failed, for that matter. Will it get better? I don't know, some time needs to pass before there will be an answer to that. When the dust settles, we will see what the picture looks like...